During summer, it is not unusual for the talk of music festivals to overwhelm the masses. Hailed and romanticized, the anticipation for a music festival is arguably the best summer has to offer. Daydreams of steamy kisses in sweaty dance tents promptly fill my mind and a deep desire to buy a Primark flower garland possesses my thoughts. Presumably, you will know it’s festival season because noodles will be in unlimited supply and your Facebook will have adopted 5 more group chats. These, of course, are group chats that completely ignore your small but wholehearted contributions. “So are you guys taking wellies?” “Seen by Everyone 18:43″…no response. The group I am receiving the most excitement from as of late, however, is “Krew does Kendal”. Kendal Calling, for those who have yet to come across it, is a local music festival held in Lowther Deer Park. The festival is family orientated and perfectly situated in England’s beautiful Lake District. For those that live in the Lancashire/Cumbria area it is also easily accessible. I’ve taken the liberty to mention this nugget of information because if you live in the general area of Kendal Calling, the chances are that on 30th Jul- 2nd Aug, you will be in attendance. In fact, it’s pretty much tradition. Winner of 2013’s best medium festival, Kendal Calling is known to be a fairground of delights- and this year is no different. It’s Kendal’s 10th bday don’t cha know. Bring yo coconut cups coz this festival sold out.
Although it is adamantly the case that 3/4 of my local area will be at this festival there is no guarantee I’ll see anyone. You see, the thing I find ironic about Kendal Calling’s slogan “see you in the fields” is that I see next to no one I know in the fields. A dead phone and several ciders later, I lose everyone and everything (besides Ellie). This, I’ve reasoned, is actually to my advantage. Despite my well polished ego, a young woman with smudged face paint, slurring words of wisdom, is not everyone’s chosen encounter. Although I’d like to imagine that my dignity does not come part and parcel with my misplacements, the sad fact is, it does. I therefore praise the heavens for nanoscopic mercies; I can now reveal that, Kendal Calling, have unveiled a new area for this year’s adventures- ‘Lost Eden’. I have decided that it is an area with increasing potential. It may become not only my permanent dwelling but a rather profound meeting place. You know, for when you accidentally let go of people’s hands in mosh pits.
Inspired by folklore of the Eden Valley and supported by Arts Council England, ‘Lost Eden’, is a woodland wonderland hidden away from the main stage. Nestled in the trees, there will be giant bespoke installations, psychedelic/acid music and an abundance of audio-visual art content. Interestingly, this enchanting area will play host to costumed processions with looming puppets and gut-shuddering drum troupes. As if that didn’t impress us enough, there will be glowing stags, ballroom dancers, topiary-headed ladies and larger than life jellyfish—to, erm, name just a few. Personally, this all comes as fantastic news because the frustration felt at the selection of obscure meeting places is unexplainable. No, seriously. “I’m just by the stripey flag, on a hill, by the twisty tree, near the portaloos, near a man in a red top, watching Snoop Dogg’. Aha! Yes. I know exactly where that is…However, with the works of Mick Stephenson, Christopher Helson, and an array of performances enrapturing the forest, I have a slight suspicion that we will not lose our way. “I’m by the large-scale collection of clocks, computers and other devices bathing in artificial light while sprouting with lush vegetation.”
FULL LOST EDEN LINE-UP
ART & CULTURE: ‘Nature Delivers’ Dan Rawlings / ‘Treeple’ Paul Calsey / ‘Liminal’ Christopher Helson / ‘Eden Avenue’ Sound Intervention / ‘Wild Life Strip’ Simon Williams / Spoken Word with Bad Language / Aziz Ibrahim Q&A / Lifestyle Talks with Betternotstop / Festival Culture Panel with Professor George McKay / Swing dance classes / Live art with John Pearson / ‘Paradise Found’ Mick Stephenson
PERFORMANCE: Spark! / Kitsch & Sync / the Artful Badger / the Lantern Company / Sound Intervention / ‘Birdcage’ Caustic Widows / ‘White Stag’ Rhiannon White
MUSIC (LIVE): Aziz Ibrahim (ex Stone Roses) / The Church / Dogshow/ The Age of Glass / Twisted Tubes / Hermigervill / John Fairhurst / Wilf Stone (Pikey Beats)/ Bird to Beast / Fiona Clayton / Fading Face / Hardwicke Circus / Henge / Purple Heart Parade / RicBirtill / Strange Collective / Sykamore Sykes / Killer Computers / Beachmaster
DJS: Dub Pistols DJ set / Wolfie Razzmatazz / Culture Cuts / Mike Freear / Ki Creighton/ Lucid Dream DJ set / Mixmonster Menno / Mortisville / Vinyl Revival / Uber / Faux Queens / Engine DJs / DJ Mime / Lost Colours / Rubrick’s Crumpet Funk / Browlin / Understate / DJ Storm.
As I sit in bed with a cup of tea and the remains of pesto pasta, I have to confess that it warms my heart to see Dub Pistols on the line-up. Although, the likes of Snoop Dogg and Elbow will be a splendour to behold, there isn’t anything quite like the sounds of the Dub Pistols to reassure you you are at Kendal Calling. I have attended Kendal Calling since it’s 3rd year in 2008 (when it was, erm, actually in Kendal) and although Dub Pistols didn’t appear on the Kendal scene until 2010, they remain to be one of my token memories. This obviously means a lot because I have so many to choose from. No biggie. Despite having seen Lucy Rose before, I am also looking forward to seeing her once again this year. In my opinion, that red-head is just too beautiful for her own good. And yes, don’t worry, I am also looking forward to listening to her. Haha funny. Nevertheless, although I could perch here all day listing a multifold of artists I am elated to see, it holds no necessity. I am far too busy watching ‘Monsters Inc’ and eating peperarmi. I will briefly mention, however, that Ella Eyre will certainly be watched and praised. This is clearly because I want to wail ‘Comeback’ to all those ex’s I have out there in the world. The grand total being none.
In fact, when thinking about the festivities and merriment that festival season provides, it would be logical to assume that there is a greater amount of ex’s by the end of the season than there is at the start. With alcohol flowing and an almost tangible electricity coursing through the crowd, it’s not irrational to presume some wrong doings will occur. In fact, it wouldn’t be unusual to hear something like this- “Point her out to me! Was it her? That zebra with the wings? I’ll pull her boppers off”. You see, one process that comes with the dawning of the festival season is the grand opening of the fancy dress box. We at once welcome the mass of Borat mankinis and applaud the atrocities that Smiffy’s joke shop has to offer. The theme for this year’s Kendal Calling is ‘Kendal Goes Through The Decades’- as if festivals weren’t a time-warp enough. Hello? No phone. Nevertheless, the typical protocol for such events is that women dress as slutty as possible and men dress as silly as possible. This being said, it is my expectation to witness many a 60s hippy loitering around the campsite this year. The reason for this is that a hippy costume is commendably easy to construct. This is particularly so when flower garlands, fringed jackets and floaty dresses are part of the festival dress code anyway. Yep. Just peace and pout sister. Frankly, I haven’t thought about my costume yet, but I shall console your minds and promise that the rules will be met. My outfit will be either a) skin tight or b) minimal. You all happy? N’awh, mum! Are those tears? I knew you’d be proud.
There are times at these kind of family festivals, however, that I yearn to reverse the clock and be a child again. They seem to have all the fun with none of the worries. Yes, Little Poppy Jones in her lady bug costume won’t be stressing over which outfit to wear tonight. She’ll probably be in bed. Nor will she be fretting over whether Munchkin Mark is going to kiss Hannah and Samantha as well as her tonight. She’ll probably be in bed. Kissing is also more an amusement than a declaration of attraction. Kiss chase anyone? Despite having given the impression that I do not partake in the kids activities, this is not the case. Circus classes and Big Hero 6? Sorry fellow festival-goers but I’m there. This year, Kendal Calling, is presenting ‘The Little Bugs Hub’. Yeah. I know. It’s too adorable. All festival long families can expect a hive of activity including games, creative performance, madcap mayhem, chill out zones and critter craft activities. Rumour has it that kids’ TV favourite Alex Winters from CBeebies will also be hosting the kids’ version of Tim Burgess’ on site café-Tiny Tim Peaks. These all sound remarkable but, really, Big Fish Little Fish, (Kendal Calling’s first ever Kids rave) is the one to look out for. Yep. Uh-huh. There is even going to be a BUG BIRTHDAY BASH and walkabout pirate crew. I do love alliteration.
Anyway, now I have sufficiently prepared you for what ‘Kendal Calling’ has to offer, I feel it is time to stock up on baby wipes. I have pesto pasta all over my bed sheets and I feel portaloos are not going to be kind this year. See you in the fields!…
…maybe.
Just Polly Problems... 